In order to influence people, you have to be liked and to be liked you have to be likable. So, how can we be likable? Below is a short list of what it takes to be a likable person, for a more complete understanding with a lot more examples from people’s lives you can download my series “How to Increase Your Influence”.
1) Don’t criticize people, why? We think it will produce a great change in others. We think it will be of benefit to them and feel good for us to get it off our chest. But, what does it really do? It initiates defensiveness, resentment and makes the person being criticized feel the need to justify themselves. When dealing with others we need to understand that we are not dealing with people of logic but of emotions. Criticism stirs up all the wrong emotions. So, instead of criticizing and condemning others, let’s try to understand them and why they do what they do.
2) Developing the art of listening. It transmits empathy, caring, concern, and love. Most of us don’t listen because we are too busy trying to figure out what we want to say. Let’s seek to understand before we are understood. Don’t diagnose before you examine.
3) The deepest desire in the human heart is the desire to be appreciated. People always do better under a climate of approval rather then a spirit of criticism. So, let’s never forget in all our relationships that the other person longs for sincere appreciation. It is the legal tender that all people desire. Let’s leave a daily trail of little sparks of gratitude that all will enjoy. Find the good in all and express it.
4) Help others achieve what they want. All of us spend 95% of our time thinking about us. If we think and help others we will be wanted and needed. The old saying is true, “You can have everything in life you want if you just help enough others get what they want”.
Emerson said, “Every person I meet is my superior in some way, in that I learn from them”. If that was true with Emerson then stop thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other persons good points. Give honest, sincere appreciation. If you do, others will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime.
You can, preview the first part of my series called “How To Increase Your Influence“ and begin your journey today.
Buy the full series here